The past few days has put a toll on so many people’s mental health. The voting process was exhausting both for the people exercising their votes and we, the social media cheerleaders.

This has made me reflect on many things life throws at us and we are just encouraged to keep going instead of mourning our losses.

From outgrowing a relationship, especially one you wanted so desperately to hold onto. Letting go of friendships you were certain would last a lifetime, having to accept that the life you had been planning won’t happen. Coming to terms that two people in a marriage couldn’t grow together. Leaving behind a place you made years of memories in watching distance kill a relationship, and not being able to change it, watching someone slowly fall out of love with you, because they want a different version, watching people walk out of your life when you are honest about who you are, who you love, or what you believe in living with a body that is constantly finding ways to betray you realizing that a person only loved the idea of you they created, and the love they handed you during that time was a lie because of it.

Having to give up certain dreams to make room for other things, retiring from a career you spent your entire life working towards not being able to have the kind of family you always dreamed of the ache of no longer being the person to initiate contact with someone, and never hearing from them again. Confronting that the life you knew wasn’t what you thought it was, not being able to turn to the person who used to be your safest place, because they can’t be that for you anymore, never getting years of your life back because you lived in fear of eternal torture and damnation, accepting that an older version of yourself is gone, desperately wishing you could somehow bring them back.

So many things Nigeria couldn’t offer, with so many in diaspora, I now understand why we survive with whatever life brings our way. Why ‘The abroad’ is better as long as it’s not Nigeria.

But If I have learned anything this past few years, it’s that you won’t ever be ready for what life throws at you. You will never be adequately prepared. You won’t have the right words when it counts for something. You won’t know the right answer when fate itself is staring you down.

I’ve learned I can go on waiting for something, sustained by hope and nothing more, or I can put it to one side and shrug my shoulders. Bravely accept the fact that I can’t keep my heart safe any more than I can stop love from taking everything from me.

I have learned to stop saying yes when I don’t mean it- to live as authentically as I know how. To allow the tips of my fingers to skirt the darkness, as long as I remember to keep my eyes fixed on the light. And as one door opens and another closes, I will move forward with the knowledge that unlike so many others, I have another year ahead of me- another shot at making it all the way around the sun, and a chance to get it right this time ’round.

So therefore, we live to fight another day✊🏿

From the desk of your West African Nigerian Goddess!